Quickly, and without detail...

The last couple months have been bad. People hurt me, I hurt people. Someone explained it perfectly to me: "You've had a lot of negative things in your life lately. And I think that all of those things have built up. Then other things happened on top of that. And you are to the point where so much has happened that you don't even know where to begin." I gave up on myself. I've done things I'm not proud of. I've learned a few things about myself. I didn't help my family when they needed it. I can't say I was being selfish. Being selfish means that you care about yourself and nobody else. I didn't care about myself. Mom tried talking to me twice. I did listen. I did see her. I did see that she cared. I did feel myself crying. But I still couldn't talk. She gave me so many chances to. She didn't give up on me. I was hoping for someone to pry things out of me because I couldn't do it alone.
Then something happened. I opened my eyes and gave myself the breakdown that I needed. I haven't cried that hard in a while. Then I talked to mom, telling her everything. Everything she said to me was perfect and honest. At one point, she said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you've changed in worse ways lately."
I agree with her. I need another change. This time it will be a good one. I'm not sure how to do it, but I'm going to try.
I'm going to start with trying to get a job (starting tomorrow). I think its perfect timing. Nobody else needs to understand that.

Thank you
mom- for everything lately. And for making 18th birthday a great one. I'm going to write you a very long letter soon.
Doyle- for coming over. I know you didn't have to. But I really appreciate it.
Donavon, Marsha, Nick, Nicole, Jason, Alex, Kenny, Grandma- for being there. Some of you know how much I needed that. thank you for the gifts. You're all amazing.