ldfuasd;gh

breaking me down. mom & kenny. impulsive decision to go see dad. "Do you always think bad things about yourself?" glow sticks. away. new meaning. crying. life. hospital. moments of clarity. trust. chris. becoming healthy. feeling. prom. cleaning up the house, cleaning up my life. our list. meetings. seperation.

I know that I could sit around and try to come up with reasons why. I would just end up with my thoughts going in circles.
I've tried to think of ways to slowly move my life in the other direction. Its hard, and I need more motivation. You'd think that being better for my family would be enough, but it isn't. I've realized that I also have to love myself. Thats going to take some time. I'm not sure I've ever really loved myself.
For now, the rest of the world is out of focus to me. I need to focus on myself and the people I love.
I need to make this better.
I will make this better.
I need to stay strong.

I need new in my life.

4-28 to 5-4
This is me. Its what I'm left with, just me. I had no choice but to think about the person I am. No choice but to think about what I've never dealt with and what I've done to my family.
I thought about all of the life changing choices I have to make.

Now.
Everything around me is clearing up slowly.
I'm starting to realize that I've missed this.

I wish I could say that I'm all better and that my family is back together.
But I know it will take quite a bit of time.
I'm trying to stay positive, but its hard right now.